Friday, January 13, 2006

“Vampire” to run for Minnesota governor

Minnesota sure suddenly sounds like an interesting place to live. Jesse “The Body” Ventura was elected governor in 1998, and he is certainly an interesting fellow to say the least.

Well, Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey, running on the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party ticket, is throwing his hat into the ring to be governor. Sharkey’s highlights:

- A Satanist- He’s okay with Jesus though. It is God the Father he doesn’t like.

- He claims to respect all religions and if elected, will post “everything from the Ten Commandments to the Wicca Reed” in government buildings

- He pledged to execute convicted murders and child molesters personally by impaling them on a wooden pole outside the state capitol.

- He’s a vampire “just like you see in the movies and TV.”
“I sink my fangs into the neck of my donor ... and drink their blood,” he said, adding that his donor is his wife, Julie.

Sounds like quite a guy. I bet he will actually get plenty of votes.

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